Monday, January 18, 2010

Gonads and Strife!

Sorry everyone for not posting for so long, depression is a bitch.
I've been dealing with my depression ever since I was in middle school. There has been a lot in my life to set me off and maybe the cause but I also know that it is, unfortunately, hereditary. I'm not saying that as an excuse, the individuals in my family that are also stricken with an unhealthy mind have found help and continue to thrive. They're part of the reason I haven't given up. The other reasons are of course, my son and husband.

Anyways, if I haven't said it before.... HAPPY FREAKIN' NEW YEAR!!!!
I didn't get wasted so I did not take part in national hangover day. I did have a few drinks, very much had a good time and that is what counts. Now onto the resolutions...

Resolutions!
* get healthier and lose weight
* be more consistent! - this then segways into a million other resolutions but this one pretty much covers the rest

I'd say rather simple but once you think about it, they're not as simple as they look. Consistency really translates as forming new, better habits such as keeping the house cleaner instead of waiting until it looks like a tornado hit the place. So far, I did well for about 2 weeks and now the place is looking quite messy again. So I bet you can guess what I will be doing for the rest of today.
As far as the losing weight and getting healthy, I am definitely doing better. There are less sweets in the house, loads more fruits and veggies and I've already lost a couple of lbs. I hope to eventually lower my cholesterol (i've had this issue for many years, yuck!) and be at a nice 95 - 105 lbs. And just so no one is freaking out at that number, I am only 5 feet tall. I'd have to weigh 75 for me to be really unhealthy.


I also want to involve myself more into the crafting/handmade goods world. Everyday I come across new little things that I want to try to make and tend to get a little upset with myself that I don't make the time and effort to do those things. Some of these things I can even get my son involved so it wouldn't take away from our time together. But to do all that I need to A) have a clean, organized place in which to do so and B) have the materials needed. B isn't really an issue. but A is most important and also goes along with the fact that I need to clean on a more regular basis. I guess I just don't want to end up cleaning all the time and end up being miserable and dull because all I do is clean.
I have already planned out a time line of which I must have designs and made goods for the 'spring collection' for my etsy shop. I will stick with it and hopefully it will help generate more interest in the shop. Eventually, I would like that shop to replace my job so I can be a stay at home mom and still contribute financially. Freelance hair, nail and skin services maybe in my future too but I want to own a house first. That way, I can install a nice wet/dry station to make my work a little easier. Having my own salon someday might be nice, but something on a scale that large does make me a little uneasy.

This blog also deserves a little more time and attention as well and that is what I plan to give it. I hope to do a new post every week. Annnd... a giveaway is in the near future.

If you don't understand the title of this post, this will clear up any confusion.

Monday, January 11, 2010

no motivation

that is what depression does. it is ugly and it drags me into a deep, dark hole and keeps me there. lately, i've been going through some emotional issues and it has prevented me from giving this blog the attention it deserves.
right now, i feel my thoughts are nothing important to share despite my desire to share with everyone the little things that run through my head.

so i'm taking a small break. i need to recharge.

i will still be reading and maybe commenting some.

take care and love